Born in the Midst of an Abyss

Look..
Right back 19 years ago..
See..

Look..
Right to this moment..
See..

Report..
You can't..
Because there is an absolution of nihility in the air..

So what? What happens if I was born 19 years ago?
Moments pass and days pass and I am thrown into deeper pits of questions..
No answer feeding my hunger off..
What good is it to know that you are one year older instead of living it without periods?
What good is it to live while suffering in a world of demise?
What good is it to feel the deepest agony from the spikes of your grinded emotions?
What good is it to be here without knowing what you are?
What good is it to function without knowing your aim?
What good is it to know that your only definitive purpose is the one defined by your carnal properties?
What good is it to not be aware of what good is it to live?

Well, I guess I have thousands of days to find that out...

Blunders and Affections I Can't Forgo...

Under the clouds of dreaming, were you beginning to decease
Or was it my own perception that was floating at ease?
Between the mirrors of conjugation, I tracked down the past tenses
Of every action performed that flowed into lovely verses
None of them realized the potential they emboldened within me
A partial subsistence into dissappearing regularity in ecstacy

Flickering images resolved the resolutional state of amends
The work of pity renowned as the filth and mud in angelic possessions
One of the true labors of mind was to conceive all that was thrown up
Congratulations flowed like seed, right down my spine
I was there within the midst of humanity
Yet a forgiveness was a distant dream yet forgotten

Below the emergence of true collateral collusion
We posed a several tactile restitutions to eventuate the souther
The warmth that overtook the mischief and laxated the existence
No questions were needed to ask after the pitstop of revolution
We hid the emotions of basic forms no more
A history of misery they were

Now among all the beckoning and etherizing
A future tense is like a chill in the bones of anesthesia
Recollecting those similar feelings is like an itch in the bone
Memories of the past a burden on you
With a move of hand you could've changed the past
That, you realized, right after everything passed

Now you lower your eyes to accept the harmonic defeat
"SCOUNDREL!!".. the voice bounces back the mirrors
There is a point in every line where the scissors of fate cut off
Now I am falling off that cliff on another disgrace of my life
I will jump back just to fall of the same line
Just to degrade myself for failing once again...

Caress of Void

Cold of the winters won't pass the enigma
Of a simple amalgamation of anguish and fate
It won't snow a beautiful white, only a cloud of rain
To a joyful mind will it desecrate

An awful melancholy sets on this city
As the tears blind the fortune
My mind accepts the gloom to the full extent
As the misery chokes the heart's vivid tune

I stand naked among the shuddering winds
As cold freezes and breaks of cells of blithe
Tears become freckles on my silhouette
Suffering adjourns the chords of delight

There I realize the need for a hug
To bring out to sun and let it shine
I open my arms to the endless road
An incompetent bliss trickling down my spine

Only hours after will I realize
That the realm of shadows is the only heir
My lone comrade on this journey afar
Surpassing my deepest despair

No, no way that I shall be healed without a solid embrace
Something that will burn my veins like menthol
An adorable aliment that will ventilate my soul
For a piece of mind ready to extol

A cry yanks out from my heart, unanswered
A head drops and gazes at the pavement
Thoughts of brighter days drool out of my spirit
My body seeks a life that is more than absent

Now wrapped up in my ordeal, I await silently
The clouds give way to the moon and stars
The world is covered with an impeccable white
And the snow soothes my bleeding scars

These thoughts, so silly
Time will come and my entity
Will be caressed by an embrace, warm and deep
As I leave my shroud to its endless sleep

Homeless

This home isn't mine...

That's what I said to myself as minutes trailed down the railroad.
It wasn't a skeptical analysis of my fate abomination,
But rather an instant thought that reflected upon me from the windows of the train..
I was now in another place but this compartment,
I wasn't a part of the concentration..
My eyes belonged to thoughts only,
Thoughts that longed for home..

This city isn't my home.. These houses, these structures,
Even this language I speak isn't mine,
It was a courtesy of an old lady...
I have never been on the trains for this long;
You only need one hand to count to number of trains
And two to count stop numbers in each one!

This is so unlike me..
I don't feel like myself, I don't feel good..
Even the way these thoughts and words trail off my mind..
Something isn't right..
I let myself loose in sudden desperation
But the hit was way more brutal than expected..

Look at me.. My only muse is my longing for everything back home!
This city, this life.. Everything about this place is killing me, one by one..
Only thing that will be left of me will be my angel of inspiration,
Smoothly wandering around my head..
Now she carries my name, now that I am just a body
Bloated with the yearning that slowly fills me in..

There will come a point where it will be impossible to utter the dismay,
The images won't become still, and will glide without imposing an instance to my eye,
The brain will shut itself to its own thoughts..
That's when my soul will ready its crematorium
And bow one last time as a gratitude towards life
And every single beauty it has provided..

The Misinterpreted Concepts - Love/Hate

People still tend to acknowledge simple structures of humanity with fancy names..
It is like a pit of fashion where you can grab all those literate, yet non-satisfactory words that try to form complexity. What we see in the end is not a Picasso painting but a distorted image..

There is no such thing as LOVE/HATE!!!

People tend to get confused with these two sentimental concepts, and are forced to deaths because of following this trend..
People daydream on these nonsense..
People SPEND MONEY AND TIME for these.. and these are all useless consumptions...

What we name LOVE/HATE is nothing else then WORSHIP/REBEL duality of humanity. The first pair only interferes to make you life more complex so you can actually feel that you are in a new era where valentine's day is celebrated!

If you look at the origins of humanity, you'll see all the structures of nations that unite under one flag..
With this, you'll not see a stability but rather a constant motion...
What brings you under a flag is the feeling of WORSHIP...
You can worship a leader, worship the values of a nation..
And when you don't find what you're looking for, you REBEL!!
You rebel against a power, you rebel against a nation..

Then you bring it all back to modern society..
"Oh I love her sooooo much!" is no more than saying "I worship this and that characteristics of this person!"..
and when the worship-able properties of a person overrules the rebellious ones, that's what we call LOVE.. nothing simple, just basic math and chemistry...
Vice versa...

Some people say "I don't believe in LOVE anymore".. that means the person can't find his/her own superior..
Some people say "I cannot HATE anyone anymore".. that means the person can easily bear the rebellative properties..

again, simple..

so why make everything complex?
Look around you...
WHAT ISN'T?

In a Time of Need...

Come back, please come back...

I knew that you wouldn't
I knew that you were lost for a long long time
I knew NOT how to survive without you...
Being in the nest of your warmth created the laziness
And I never got to learn without your embrace..

Now you are gone.. Not coming back for months..
I, and this flashlight that blinks at night,
Come looking for you..
Only to discover
That your are not ours to find..

Honestly
Tell me of some way to challenge the wildlife
Without your guiding halo around me!
Fly me over all those gutters that head my way
Let me embrace you again!

I have dimmed every light
Played every tune I can find
Yet nothing feels like you..

Come back my solitude, come back
I am vulnerable without you..

A Nightingale Silenced in the Night

Our lives were played like a deck of cards
Every cell opposing the other
Until all of them dissolved in their mutiny

My arms stretch both ends
Pulled by ideas into the dark deep resentful night
A melancholy blinds thoughtful thinking
I am just a simple doll now
Watching this world through these eyes

A decade past with an ever smiling face
Another past without a disgrace
Now the soul surrenders to the awakening
Facing the truth of dead alley
A claustrophobia slowly embraces
Then suffocates the whole being...

The last tunes of a nightingale singing by my side
A moment of peace before the loss of marbles..
I always believed that the truth kissed a blessing
To the nightingale's sigh
That's why it ended it's cry..
Would I only be terrified to learn
That it was my freedom concealed
An elation ripped off my soul
That blinded my senses...

My only joy trembling in my hands
Is my ignorance that screens despair

World

Until forgiveness is the true master of my soul
I shall drive into well of madness..
Until my face is pressed against the ground
And the impact leaves everything behind..
Factorized consumption will be the asset of my will
After the bleeding walls break through this gloom..

My, oh my, the desperate soil claims a share upon me
And I am still driven to the breakpoint
Now the origin seems so crystal clear
As I see my source: darkness ultimatum!
Keen on frantic misleads in desires
A block of ocean will wipe all the memories
Leaving me nothing but this tormented corporate
That still is beaten like a young son..

I shall dominate the hull with the doves of inspiration
Yet the truth is unbearable: there is nothing I can do
and I can't help doing it over and over again
Just be be dropped from unimaginable heights...
I lived those roads, although no one believes it
I am not an entrepreneur, I am not an entertainer
I am not a prophet that needs a claim
Be it or not, my existence serves its own purpose..

What I build here is my own world
Give or take, you are in it

Porcupine Solitude

...one master contraction of the womb...

enrolled to the wishful integration of the telekinesis,
we try to support the veins with grains of human integration..

we are faced by failure, we fail to realize that the world is something we create,
our delusional act of dissection attains the true manufacture of maturity
a point in the 4th dimension that our journey from birth tries to get us to.
and before really touching that point,
just as moments are about the embrace the finality,
fatality brings forth gravity and we fall down the falls of void...

we know the danger ahead, yet we can't leave the ship
when it's all rivers around us.. that would be meaningless!
instead, we put on black goggles to prevent us seeing the end..
at least, forget it until we really face it..
until we see that there is nothing much ahead..
we dream that it's going to be an endless island our ship is going to land on..
or insist that those that cause mutiny on board will deplete the rules of earthly physics
and dive right through the island to the core
to taste the sermon of demonic flames..

all is simplicity
all is what the human mind is capable to imagine..
just like this folk standing by me..
none is true,
none will ever be,
in a world that we create for ourselves,
dream,
and wake up into nothingness..

a sparkling sensation of porcupine solitude..

Birth of a Sun, Death of an Ocean..

A mind eclipse into eternity hasn't been this fragile.. It is a secret, so hush now..

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Together, we worked out a way
Out of these vermiculated waters of shining dawn
Bringing forth a fortune that a mind's eye couldn't have seen
An ecstatic structure of expansions along the lines of fortitude..

The floors have collapsed into one
A packed meaning was served as a main dish
Perceptions fully ignited in the dissolving state..
***Stardust***
Mind yourself
An insider called out
A yanking disaster within an ephemeral momentum
SounD
Lights out
***Stardust***
Simple amazement has been of the sweetest kind
An unbelievable rush of eminence into the plows
Tracked the tracheal outreach of human society
Social life corrupted
A dense darkness fell
Two became one
And ones added up
Until only a finger pointed at the dark and said
"Hallelujah!"

Blind aesthetics weren't the ultimate cure
Instead, it was the true venom
Everyone knew..
It wrote on packages
It sounded out in dreams
A fragile voice was now broken
***Stardust***
Now the particles were sucked into materials of induction
As the evanescent extortion became the hand that feeds
the inner will
Un-paranoia
Unwind
And dream eternal
Now the stars broke into pieces
Light faded away with oncoming of something paramount
The vigilant were terrified
Yet non-materialism defaced the vibrations in void
Nosound

Pure excavation let out a gasp of ill torture
It was another kingdom in power
Now a new sun rising
Cleared out the seas of oblivion
"That's what they said"
Only the fish knew the truth
Now they were dancing
for their death

The new sun exsiccated the earth
The dried bodies fed the soil
Until the sun couldn't feed no more

Black Hole
Welcome...

Blatant Suggestions

I keep thinking..
Thinking about all those wonderful times we had..
All the on- and non-LSD trips traveled together..
Strains of sentiments passing through us, connecting us together..
Taking us along to a land that could just be ours,
Letting me spend what is left of this day with you..
Streams of passionate melodies vibrating our lips,
Thoughtful echoes cascaded all over our skin like a life giving balm..
Our youth laid in our bare hands...

Thinking about all those wonderful times we had
Always leaves me in a pool of wish:
To be able to think about all those wonderful times we had...

Burning Façade - A Complementary Visual for Love

From the window sill where the moments blinked,
The path that I stood underneath the tingling smell of the willows shivered with its loneliness.
An unknown pleasure was surrounding me like a mist as my leg fell asleep;
I thought it was my blood pressure, but there was the mist..
Dipped in a fragile odor that I longed to feel..
Mmm.. The frown surrenders to the pleased mind, turns upside down..
The thoughts, letting go of everything on my mind,
Everything but you, as petals put you in my daydreams..
I stand still, I keep my eyes closed until I can wait no longer to see you..
I cheat and peek through one eye and..

You are not there..
Somebody must've stolen your smell.. No no no, there's no one around!
My memories, oh my memories play a cruel game on me..
Delusions, ugly, frustration takes over my body,
My nerves want to cancel out every single system as a rush of emotions pierce through my soul...
I'm exhausted, I can think no more...

-o-o-o-o-o-

Low voltage..
Images flicker with the lights..
Wrong frequency.. I skip frames..
I am mystery..
I am a legend to those that knows me.. Finger count: 0..
Lonely people on a street.. Finger count: 1..
Time of the day.. Finger count: 3..
Weekly ritual.. Finger count: 5..
Sleep state: Disturbed..
General analysis: Out of control and out of bounds..
Out of rationality as much as reality goes..
Primary symptoms of nothingness is a redesign of conceptions that fall way beyond matter..
Black holes fade within a certain criteria, and oblivion is mandatory..
Yet what lies within is a group of logs that hasn't been turned into a campfire..
A sparkle can set the fireworks free: Death of a thousand craftsmen..
We travel from one home to the other for the ultimate safety,
Yet nowhere is safe to be found..
When found, I will have to give in,
That is, in a thousand years...

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

My minstrel pleads a game of joy.
Dancing around the tables, playing dominoes,
Doing the most stupid things ever imagined..
When the pleader is my minstrel, everything sounds within boundaries of logic.
But the problem is, my minstrel is silent, as if deaf,
If I shout out, she might be disturbed,
If I stay silent, I will just be a tree in the forest..
..Unless someone carves something on the barks..
So unlikely, amongst millions..

My leaves stutter a rustle with eminent thoughts,
A cheap vacation to a wonderland..

Trail of Tears

A desperate sound whispered the words that an ear mustn't hear,
Mine lost its virginity, gave up to sudden bruises of the sensational gaze..
A wind with a load of a sinner, appeared instantly out of the blue,
The blue, polluted by the mischief of the dark..
Twas said that the night has no witness, so I was lost
No soul has uttered the letters of my name,
Those words that existed were forgotten, replaced by newcomers.
Now I and the words set on a journey as a group of orphans.
The world meant nothing, the sun was no longer a science, food was no longer pleasure;
Desperate yet obsolete was our vanishing..
Echoes of a shindig set us aflame, and the imminent torture burst us into pieces..
Mild dust covered the thin air, thousands believed it was a fog;
It was nature with a heavy thought, a desperation set on the human life
Melancholy oozing to every single cell..

Psychology 101, blended with wonders of nature,
We were never remembered, but never forgotten..

From "The Death and the Drumrolls" - A Paraplegic Commentary on Flying

Master oblivion states his terms in two ways:
1. Infectious rabid slowly castrating the surreals
2. Malevolent connotations of sedition and icebreakers

One of the flying recaps recede from regularity as an unknown oblivion sets aside a masterpiece. The dumbfold of twenty creates a humongous rectitude as a result of synthetic assumptions. Revelation is the basis of the staging variations of mutators unblinded in crocked muds, yet the preliminary caution yanks as a vast generation of statues.

They say the books fell because the oceans vomited the precious pearls of infinitum. However, the finite curse seems to deplete the majority of gulls in whales' possession. Further testing requires an unknown submaterial to create a child object for the matured symptoms of neglected legacies.

As history writes it, the facts are only taken into consideration when two parts are mislead into the pathway of light that is narrowed by the simplicity of the homo sapiens. The evolving men had a crack in the backbone that made him immobile. Frantically, the airwaves pleaded their own guilt in a pleasantly organized appleseed that neutralized into what we know as demand.

Guns, a source states, are the pulmonary articles of the human society, yet the human beings don't know what they are equipped with. What we face in everyday life is a ghastly gallow for the martyrs of independent success. The brain is mislead by endeavors of thoughts..

..and the only escape is solitude interrupted by a beautiful sigh...

Voluntary Suicide

Giving up what you are for the sake of being someone..
Cutting your wrists just to see it bleed and fill the jars so you can make money with the paint investments...
Calling all hands to deliverance..
We shot a bullet to our head just for the smell, and now we wave our hands in despair..
Please, laugh at us!