Despair

Where are you now? Where are you?..
Where will you be when I fall down,
And cry like that little child I was,
Yet still am..
Where will you be to ask me if it's ok,
To wipe my tears, to hug me with that warmth
Calm me down like a summer breeze on an exposed skin..
Where are you know? Where will you be?

All my hopes falling like icicles on my head
A pain never felt before, a new definition..
One that I would've never wanted to learn..
A year has passed now, since the day that changed my life
A year has passed now, since I haven't seen you for I while..
This separation was a bit more than normal..
Wait! A bit? Did I say 'a bit'?
Curse bit my tongue like a black venom!
Ugly figures of dropping cascades!! Ah, the mausoleum of pain!!
Sweet! Sweet, brother.. I prefer choking the sound!
Let this solitude be my stalker once again for my mistakes!
Yes, the core of ultimate distraction.. I am not me again, once more, lovely pain!

Clear out this face clean of all the smudge splattered by my mischief..
Yes, I am a sinner, I have sinned.. All the time, maybe lacking at times..
I am here to open my arms and accept my punishment..
Just don't let me be away from all the good things that ever existed..
That painted me like a children's coloring book,
So alive, so pure, so elegant, so natural..
I want to live again.. I want to feel that I live..
So take me, do whatever you want.. Because I feel not!
I sin, yet I feel not, that's why I sin, hoping that I'll feel..
Once again.. Maybe? The future is no bright landscape to color my eyes..
Maybe it's my ultimate blindness.. Maybe not..

COME BACK NOW! I NEED YOU!!